Convos With the Hubs

LOYALTY VS LOGIC!

Hey y’all… I’m just popping back in to let you know I wrote a funny little piece over on my hubby’s blog at Martians Attack on the merits of loyalty and logic in your conversations.

Relationships are not easy to maintain, but sometimes, for the sake of levity, you must run roughshod over your partner with logic.

So! Give it a read! Wth are you waiting for?!

Besides, he’s funny af and you should be following him regardless. Just sayin’. ♥

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LOVE POTION #9!

Love Potion #9 is a wonderful song, but the love potion I’m talking about doesn’t come from a gold-capped toothed woman named Madame Ruth on 34th and Vine and it certainly shouldn’t be brewed in the kitchen sink.

No… I’m talking about Amortentia. The most powerful love potion in the world according to the wizarding world of Harry Potter. You know the one, with its distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen and spiraling steam that rises gently from the top. Another telltale sign of Amortentia are the multifaceted scents it gives off depending on the person inhaling its fumes.

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Tut, tut, Hermione… You forgot Ron Weasley’s hair. 😉

What originally made me want to post about Amortentia (Harry Potter obsession aside, ahem…) was the overwhelming scent of honeysuckle that slapped me in the face just the other day.

Honeysuckle has long been a favorite scent of mine and is associated with so many happy memories that I cannot help but smile softly whenever I smell it. It’s such a favorite scent that I think if it were a wand wood choice for Ollivanders, my wand would definitely have been made of it instead of Ash.

Naturally, when I thought of honeysuckle being part of my Amortentia potion, I immediately thought of what the rest of it would smell like.

It would consist of honeysuckle, pool water and dragon’s blood incense. Pool water makes me think of my childhood when I would go with my mom to the public pool every day during the summer.

The Dragon’s Blood incense is purely brought to mind because of my husband, who is the one ultimately responsible for my happiness and contentment in life. It’s his favorite scent of incense and we burn it often.

Before he came into my life, I would say my third scent would have been freshly mown grass, just like Hermione. But like Nymphadora Tonks’ Patronus changing with her growing love for Remus, my Amortentia includes the one I  love most in this world.

So! With that being said, what would your potion smell like?

And for those who might be curious… I’m a Hufflepuff Alum, my Patronus is a Weasel and my wand is Ash, 11 3/4, Brittle and the core is a Dragon heartstring. I like to think the dragon who kindly supplied it would have been an Antipodean Opaleye.

 

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THE “C” WORD!

Prepares yourself, Reader, for something potentially unpleasant. 😉

My favorite word begins with a C and it’s not Crass. It’s Cunt!

Shit… it’s also Cat and Cocaine and Curio. I’m just a big, fat liar it seems.

If you’re shocked, then I’m ashamed of you! You of all people ought to know just how trashy I am and it should come as no surprise that I lack all class. However, Cunt may be one of my favorite words but I don’t go around saying it all willy-nilly. It’s reserved for special occasions where I’m either talking about my lady bits to the south or someone especially deserving of the word when they’re being rude af.

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Snow White keeping it classy.

So there you go. I’m a tacky bitch, lol. What are some of your favorite words? Go ahead, be as trashy as you can be, I won’t tell.

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THE COST OF SELF-CARE

*Trigger Warning: Talk of Depression, Anxiety and Suicide.*

Woke up a couple hours ago feeling pretty chipper. I’ve learned from a young age to not trust myself when I’m feeling this happy because I usually spiral into a rotten mood and bitter tears.

Ahhh, gotta love depression and bouts of shitty mania.

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An accurate depiction of the inside of my head.

 

Pretty sure I’ve been depressed since I was a young child. Can’t really remember though because I’ve blocked a giant portion of my past memories. I tried to see a therapist once, but she looked like she was my age and I just couldn’t handle talking to someone who didn’t seem like she’d understand where I was coming from. I felt like I needed someone much older, who had lived through some shit and lived to tell the tale.

So I passed up on the therapy which led to skipping on the option for medication and spiraled through years of suicidal thoughts until I finally took the plunge and downed twenty prescription sleeping pills and woke up in a pile of vomit. I think I was fifteen when that happened. I remember crawling to the toilet and then waking up later that day in bed. I know someone found the evidence of what had happened and yet nothing was ever said about it. Ever. No trip to the hospital, nothing.

I thank God every day that I survived.

I really didn’t mean to tumble down into this pit of darkness and despair. I mean, realistically, this blog can’t be all sunshine and kittens. Even as I’m typing this, it feels like this happened to someone else and I know I’ve dissociated hard from the girl who’s been through so much that she felt the need to kill herself. I know it isn’t healthy to ignore it all. And yet I do.

I am a veritable pro at ignoring things that make me uncomfortable and unhappy. Into the NOPE box it goes to never again see the light of day.

In the last year, in my effort to maintain my self-care, I went through Facebook and unfollowed (and some unfriended) nearly every one of my 90 friends and family until I was left with a timeline of cute animal videos, recipes and the posts of maybe five people. I just did not want to see anything negative at a time when I was feeling incredibly vulnerable.

Self-Care can be dangerous. Because I’d went through and blocked everyone’s posts, it’s helped me lose touch with my friends and family. And because I work third shift and sleep during the day, it’s been made worse in that I’m losing touch with the outside world.

I think all the time that I’m getting cabin fever and make plans and then when it creeps up to actually going out for said plans… I break out in a cold sweat and my anxiety soars and I eventually cancel going anywhere. The thought of being around anyone besides my hubs just makes me tremble and want to cry.

My anxiety has gotten so bad that I’m finally ready to throw in the towel and get some help. I don’t know if I’m ready to rehash every terrible thing that has happened in my life but I think I’m more than ready for the sweet relief of depression medication.

Convos With the Hubs

NOAH AND MOSES WALK INTO AN ARK…

It’s very, very rare that I get one over hubby. When it happens, I just want to shout it to the world that I was the clever one for one brief, shining moment. Please, enjoy said moment that we had yesterday at our expense.

Me: How many animals did Moses have on the Ark?
Matt: One of each kind, apparently.
Me: *grinning like an idiot*
Matt: *repeats the question and immediately realises his error* Oh, shit…
Me: *cackling with joy*

Ah, life is good.

 

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See what I did there? Do ya?!

 

 

Manic Monday

MANIC MONDAY // DO YOU LOVE ME?

On my last attempt at blogging, I began doing a topic on music named Manic Monday. In it I would list my current song obsessions, but I think this time around, I’ll just talk about one song at a time.

Today’s song is by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and is titled Do You Love Me? It brings to mind the relationship between The Bride and Bill in Kill Bill.

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Your side always was a bit lonely.

Seriously, if you haven’t seen the movies… then what is wrong with you? Go watch, chop, chop! I’ll post the lyrics below the video if you care to give them a read.

I found her on a night of fire and noise
Wild bells rang in a wild sky
I knew from that moment on
I’d love her till the day that I died
And I kissed away a thousand tears
My lady of the Various Sorrows
Some begged, some borrowed, some stolen
Some kept safe for tomorrow
On an endless night, silver star spangled
The bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle

She was given to me to put things right
And I stacked all my accomplishments beside her
Still I seemed so obselete and small
I found God and all His devils inside her
In my bed she cast the blizzard out
A mock sun blazed upon her head
So completely filled with light she was
Her shadow fanged and hairy and mad
Our love-lines grew hopelessly tangled
And the bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle

She had a heartful of love and devotion
She had a mindful of tyranny and terror
Well, I try, I do, I really try
But I just err, baby, I do, I error
So come and find me, my darling one
I’m down to the grounds, the very dregs
Ah, here she comes, blocking the sun
Blood running down the inside of her legs
The moon in the sky is battered and mangled
And the bells from the chapel go jingle-jangle

All things move toward their end
I knew before I met her that I would lose her
I swear I made every effort to be good to her
I swear I made every effort not to abuse her
Crazy bracelets on her wrists and her ankles
And the bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle

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APRIL THE GIRAFFE!

For those that don’t really haunt YouTube, there was a live cam set up for the much anticipated birth of April the Giraffe’s baby over the last couple months at the Animal Adventure Park in New York. April gave birth today and the cam is still live so y’all can see just how freaking adorable the baby is. Click HERE to go get your fill of cuteness.

Hubby beat me to posting about the event, which you can read about HERE. I posted about watching baby being born on Facebook and then I too hit the hay. Because I sleep during the day and hubby is usually up before I am, he got to see the negativity on FB regarding April’s baby. It’s sad af.

People are so mired in the terrible shit going on that they can’t appreciate the beauty and wonder of a precious baby entering the world. Not only that but they’re bitching about people participating in something positive while countless other negatives are occurring around the world.

Welp, sorry not sorry, but I’m not going to wallow in negativity just to please your shitty sensibilities. The hubs said it best, I think, when he said Hopefully something similar to these two events will come along to replace them when they’re done and out of the spotlight. This is what the world needs more of more than ever. It lifted our spirits for a moment, and for that, I’m very grateful.

On a side note, I’ve been watching TinyKittensHQ for the last few weeks. TinyKittensHQ is a feral cat rescue that aims to save as many feral cats as they can, rehabilitating and finding them homes whenever possible and when they can’t, they spay/neuter and return them to the wild.

Their latest rescued pregnant momma’s are Evolene, a ginger tabby who has suffered seriously from malnutrition among many other very serious health problems. The other momma is Corsica, a tortoiseshell tabby who seems to be in better health and is a couple years younger. Sadly, all five of Evolene’s kittens passed away and Evolene herself is struggling to thrive. TK’s are doing everything possible to facilitate her speedy recovery, jsyk…

Corsica, on the other hand, had five kittens as well and all are doing so very well. They’re just about seven days old and haven’t opened their eyes yet, but if you’d like to join in another spot of brightness, then click HERE.

What I’ve been trying to say all along here, is… Don’t let anyone drag you down when you’re enjoying something that brings you a bit of happiness in this otherwise crazy world. The negativity in the world is going nowhere and will continue spreading like a terrible plague, but the rare moments of goodness? Take advantage when you can and be grateful it happened and that you were able to witness it.

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CRAB STUFF!

You ever find a dish that you could just eat every damn day and be happy af? For me, that would be this crab casserole from a place called Asian Buffet. Hubs and I have always called it Crab Stuff. I don’t get it very often and when the craving hits me, it drives me insane because the place takes a good twenty minutes to get to and it isn’t cheap at all, even with a coupon from our Reach magazine.

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I could easily eat this whole thing. Bowl and all.

The craving hit me last night while I was at work and I had the harebrained idea that I’d just get the ingredients from Walmart on my way home and make it then. How’d it turn out? Well, maybe next time the craving hits, I’ll wait until they open and hit them up for lunch. Let’s just leave it at that, haha.

I’m not a bad cook by any means, it’s just… not the same as how Asian Buffet makes it. Tomorrow, for Easter, I’m delving into making a Strawberry Poke Cake. I’ll let y’all know how well that fails.

Hope y’all have a happy Easter. xoxo

 

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COCAINE’S A HELLUVA DRUG!

I was half asleep when I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday and saw the hubs had posted #RIPCharlieMurphy and didn’t really pay it any attention until I rolled around some more and finally got up to get ready for work last night. That’s when I finally figured out that it was true… The great Charlie Murphy had died at the young age of 57 from his long battle with leukemia.

I legit cried. (Which is no surprise since my every emotion is tied to my tear ducts.) I watched his skits on the Chappelle Show often because it’s seriously the funniest shit, ever. His True Hollywood Stories were the best. My favorite, however, was the one about his frequent run-ins with Rick James.

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Rick wasn’t wrong.

I originally wasn’t going to make this a post. I was just going to put up the above gif on my About page and leave it at that, but… I thought about poor Charlie and here we go. But while I’m on the subject of cocaine… *sighs wistfully*

Haven’t done it in years, but, man, it was lovely when I did. Don’t judge me.

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A legit reenactment.