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CHILDLESS BY/NOT BY CHOICE

This started out as a reply to this blogger’s post about why you shouldn’t ask someone when they’re going to have children and I figured I’d take it and expand on it here for those that are curious about why Matt and I haven’t had babies of our own…

Matt and I tried for the first few years to get pregnant and didn’t have the money or insurance to see doctors to try and figure out why it just wasn’t happening for us. I cried, I prayed, I ranted and whenever I saw someone with a baby bump or someone else was telling me they had succeeded where we hadn’t… It was the hardest thing in the world to bear and when my estranged half sister told me over the phone that she was pregnant, it came at the worst time and I just couldn’t say anything to her and hung up, which, unfortunately, pushed us even further apart. I tried to explain and she’s said she’s fine, but the damage was done, I thought, but that’s a story for a different day.

That was almost six years ago now. I stopped questioning God and I finally started wishing expectant mother’s well. He and I had finally reached the ah-ha moment that we didn’t even WANT to have kids for several reasons. We’re happy that it’s just he and I and we selfishly enjoy the fact that it’ll just be us for the rest of our lives. We’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum now and I’m glad we did since it allows me to understand and be empathetic towards those who desperately want and do not want, to have children.

NoKids
Yes, because not being a baby factory means we have LOTS of money now… /sarcasm

We still don’t know why it never happened for us, but again, that’s a kettle of fish that I’d rather tackle later in another post. Now, if anyone asks us about when we’ll have kids, we’ll just show them pictures of our furballs and kindly let the other person know that we’re happy with it just being us, because let’s face it… we can barely afford to take care of ourselves, lol!

1 thought on “CHILDLESS BY/NOT BY CHOICE”

  1. I think my biggest problem with having kids now is tied between two things. One, it seems like EVERYONE thinks they should have kids just because they can. All too often I see some young girl getting pregnant while not being married or having a good job or even living outside of their parents house. Just because they can. That’s now how it’s supposed to work. This world is extremely overpopulated, and that’s one of the reasons why. When I was in my early 20s I used to think that I had to find someone to be with with no kids soon, or the older I got I’d have a harder time finding someone without. Now, you’d be lucky to find anybody over the age of 17 who doesn’t have kids. Babies shouldn’t be raising babies. A 17 year old guy I work with just joked to me the other day about how he “learned how babies are made, but by then it was too late to pull out.” And he is definitely somebody I WOULDN’T want to see with a kid.

    The second reason is, this world has gone to complete shit, and I think it would be completely irresponsible to bring a child into this world now. I wouldn’t mind adopting because those kids didn’t have a choice and here they are with no family. But to have my own? Just can’t fathom it now.

    Liked by 1 person

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