Prompts & Challenges

ONE-LINER WEDNESDAY // HOTEL CALIFORNIA!

“Relax,” said the night man,
“We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!

This is honestly one of my favorite songs. My momma used to listen to it when I was a kid, so naturally, I grew into her amazing taste in music for myself. I listen to it frequently. In fact, I’m listening to it right now as I type this.

On our road trip the other day, Hubs and I heard it on three separate occasions. Twice in the car on two different stations and once while we stopped in McDonald’s to use the restroom. Pretty sure he’s sick of hearing this song, which is why I’m playing it while he’s at his doctor’s appointment.

Furthermore, I work as a night auditor at a hotel and I never pass up the chance to show the older guests how cool their “night man” is by quoting the best Eagle’s song to date. They usually laugh and go on their merry way.

I need help, obvs.

Hotelcalifornia

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One-Liner Wednesday was brought to you by Linda G Hill.
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HOME IS WHEREVER I’M WITH YOU!

The hubs and I went on a little road trip for our anniversary last week, May 1st, and the day was just absolutely beautiful for it.

Since money was extra tight, we came up with a few places of interest to go see while we were out. It was so good to get out and enjoy the sunshine which is a novel experience for me since I’m such a night owl. I was sure that any exposure to the sun would instantly cause my skin to go up in flames, but alas, I was just fine.

For those that are curious, we live in Cincinnati, which is known as part of the Tri-State area of Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana.

First we decided to take the Anderson Ferry in Delhi over to Constance, Kentucky. It had been storming for weeks on end and we were sure the ride would be nausea-inducing because of the choppy water but we were pleasantly surprised at how smooth it was.

Hubby has a fear of deep, open water but had no issues with riding the ferry. I remember being a kid and going with my mom and a family friend and taking it while out hitting up the vegetable stands. In fact, I remember eating half of a raw tomato and throwing the rest of it overboard and watching it bob up and down on the waves from the ferry. Ah, good times.

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No tomatoes this time and no being a bad ass little fuck, either.

After we disembarked from USS Deborah A., we wound our way through Hebron and Burlington until we hit the road that runs right alongside the Ohio River to Rabbit Hash. We just couldn’t stop exclaiming about how beautiful and lush everything was and that the people who lived in the area were supremely lucky to do so. Of course, we also said that when we hit the lotto, that’s where we’ll migrate to. Some day…

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See? Lucky bastards live here.

What should have been a half hour drive turned into about 45 minutes because Matt sneezed and missed the sign that said to turn and enter Rabbit Hash proper. I told him to just keep going and we could circle back and come from the opposite side.

I’m glad I did because otherwise, we wouldn’t have seen this creepy old Southern Baptist church sitting high on its creepy little hill. Seriously… why do Baptist churches always have to look so, well, creepy? I love it, but still.

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This was my favorite find/shot of the day, btw.

So after another fifteen minutes of driving, we finally reached Rabbit Hash, a rustic hamlet known for its almost 200 year old General Store and doggy mayors. I knew Matt would fall in love with the place just as I did when I’d gone through it many  years before. The original Rabbit Hash General Store had been built in 1831 and had survived a great many floods between then and February 2016 until an unfortunate electrical fire burned it down.

Thanks to the tender love and dedication of the community, though, it was rebuilt to the exact same style it had originally been in only a short year later. You can read more about it all, here. I was right though, he completely fell in love and we both had a hard time leaving it.

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We especially loved the potions and notions they had to offer. 

 

 

The store is an eclectic mix of country and new age items for sale. It seriously felt like home to us. It smelled so good, too. Like old wood and nag champa incense. The building also has the most amazing creek running beneath it in the back. If we could have made our home there, we would have.

 


After the owners used a crow bar to pry us out of their store, we hit the road again and talked about whether it was fate that brought us together or luck. It was sappy af, I’m telling you… Our hands were clasped over the console, our fingers were tightly entwined and we would occasionally exchange such love-filled glances with each other. Totally sickening, folks. ♥♥♥

Traveling up through Indiana and finally back over to Ohio, we met up with his dad at Reily’s Pizza where dad treated us to dinner for our anniversary.

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Going to places next to rushing water must have been the theme of the day for us. (Behind Reily’s Pizza)

 

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See? Cute af. Smh…

We got stuffed on their amazing pizza, cheese fries, cheesy pretzel and $1 cans of Coors Light while the rain made itself known again throughout our meal. My eyes got so heavy towards the end of our meal and I pretty much just sat there quietly and listened to hubs and his dad talk about this, that and the other thing. We went straight home and slept the rest of the day away. It was the best day. Only spent a whopping $20.

So that was last Monday, the 1st. Yesterday we took advantage of the break in rain and spent the sunny day driving around again, only this time we went out for french fries and hot fudge sundaes. Afterwards, we went driving around looking at various mobile home parks that we could eventually call home.

On the way home, we stopped by the old home of Americana Amusement Park; another place we used to haunt when we were kids. It too was destroyed by an electrical fire and sadly closed down for good in ’99. Even worse is that it’ll all be torn down this year and rebuilt into a new campus for a local college and city park space. You can read about their history here.

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When we got home, I took a muscle relaxer for my lower back that felt like it was about to detach from the rest of my body while he took a Xanax for his anxiety. Needless to say, we were out like a light very shortly after and didn’t wake up until around Midnight.

We made some frozen pizza, watched Sausage Party and then played some Left 4 Dead 2 while cuddling our doggo, Redd.

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He’s such a charming pupper, ain’t he?

 

It’s been so nice to get out of the house and not interact with humans. So nice that we might make this a regular thing by exploring areas around our home.

Before I forget… Did you know that Elvis and Priscilla also got married on May 1st? I love that! Thankfully, our marriage has lasted longer than their 6 years and some odd months.

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Random Raves, Rants & Rambles

THROUGH THICKET AND THIN!

The last two days have not been good for me in a mental capacity. My thoughts, especially, have been like a thicket. I hate brain fog with a passion. There’s so much I want to write about (and it’s a good thing I have a list to put my post ideas on), but when I sit down to smash it out on the keyboard, nothing happens and my ADHD kicks in and all of a sudden I’ve been trawling youtube for 18 hours.

I think Sunday will be a random thoughts kinda day. For those little things that don’t really require a post of their own, ya know? So… I’ll just ramble here for today and get back next week with a spectacularly uninspiring blog post about something inconsequential to wow and amaze my friends. Have I mentioned that this blog is legit trash? Hey, you’re the one who decided I was worth following, so you get to deal with the fallout.

1. I realized I need a meat hammer. I could have cut down my cooking time on the giant chicken boobs from dinner a few nights ago if I had only had a meat hammer. But I’m strangely resistant to using things that normal adults would use. I distinctly remember the times my mom would use her meat hammer and it was loud af. Every time I think of it, I think about how she was such a better adult then than I am now. But mostly, I remember that it was loud.

For those of you who don’t know, hubs and I share a house with his mother and the sound carries very well. Also, we keep weird time since I work third shift. It would have woken her up for sure. If you’re curious about the house set up, the house itself is a cottage type and we live in the very back in an addition that was built on in the early 70s. We pretty much live in a small studio. Back to the meat hammer… guess I’ll pull up my big girl bloomers and put it on my list of shit I need to buy soon. *sigh*

2. Maintaining friendships on social media is tiring af. It’s also, apparently, a one way street. In August last year, I decided I needed to unfollow some people and limit my timeline to a very select few friends and family and videos of cute animals, crafts, recipes and shit. It was a desperate attempt to block out all the negativity I’d been seeing on Facebook for a long time. I even posted on there that I needed to take a break from Facebook but that I could always be contacted via Messenger.

A few weeks ago, I decided to go back through my friend list and re-follow everyone because I was in a good place where I felt I could handle all the talk of politics and every other Debbie Downer conversation that takes place on social media (but shouldn’t). So as I’m scrolling through my list of people, I notice that someone deleted me. And not just on Facebook, but on all of my other platforms as well.

This someone, I had thought, was good enough friends with me, that she’d at least message me to talk it, whatever IT was, out, before just haring off and deleting me. She’s a good online friend of the hubs, has been since before he and I met. He messaged her to find out what happened and she came back with some cockamamie excuse about we hadn’t spoken to each other in a while. *blink blink*

To be quite honest, it fucking hurt my feelings. Hubs told her so and she came back with the lame suggestion of, “Well, I could re-add her?” No. That ship sailed and you’re not allowed back on it. I didn’t realize a friendship of ten years had suddenly required talking to each other on a regular basis and that, my loves, is why maintaining friendships on social media is exhausting.

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JK… I’m too friendly. Disregard my personal space.

3. There is no number three that I can think of and I’m now realizing that number two really could have been a post of its own,  but… it’s here now and you’ll just have to deal with my longwindedness. Actually, there is a #3… Back to my mental capacity and perpetual brain fog… Poor hubby has had to explain super simple things to me the last couple of days. It bothers tf out of me because I’m usually a really sharp tack. Three separate times he’s tried to talk to me about something and I argued with him about how it didn’t make any sense to me. Wow. Really need this brain fog to gtfo.

So, those are a few of my rambles and rants for now. I know I’ll have a heap more by next Sunday. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend. Pray for me that I make it unscathed to next Sunday, lol.

xoxo

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ONE-LINER WEDNESDAY // XLIII

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints–I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!–and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

I was first introduced to the writings of Elizabeth Barrett Browning when my mother handed me her copy of Sonnets from the Portuguese with an inscription inside that spoke of her undying love for me, her young daughter. These sonnets may be written for her (Elizabeth’s) lover, but I can only think of my mom every time I read it.

I must have read it from cover to cover a dozen or more times but it wasn’t until I grew in understanding that I came to appreciate the love and devotion found within its dog-eared pages. She and I have had so many ups and downs and misunderstandings and fallouts that to think upon it in any capacity hurts my heart and makes me feel like I’m a terrible daughter.

We’ve recently come to better understand one another and as the days go by, I no longer resent just how much like my mother I am. I’m coming to appreciate it very much, indeed. I’m so grateful I’m not too late to tell her how much I love her. So, momma…

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

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One-Liner Wednesday was brought to you by Linda G Hill.

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YOUTUBE TUESDAY VOL 3 // YEARS

About a month ago, I saw an article on Facebook about an artist named Bartholomäus Traubeck who turned various slices of tree trunks into records with the use of a piano synthesizer and algorithm reader. The video below was the one I listened to and I was spellbound. The tree used in the video is Ash (same as my wandwood — which is probably one reason I loved it so much) and the melody is as they described; hauntingly beautiful.

Normally, tree rings are inspected for things like age, disease and rainfall levels. I’m glad someone had the idea of turning them into a sort of vinyl record. It really is lovely to listen to. Out of all seven tracks, Fraxinus (or Ash), is my favorite. I’m not biased at all.

You can listen to the full album here. If you’d like to see more of Traubeck’s work or to purchase the album Years, which includes other wood types, click here.

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Youtube Tuesday was brought to you by Martians Attack.
Manic Monday

MANIC MONDAY VOL 2 // ISLANDS IN THE STREAM

Today, May 1st, 2017, marks seven years since the hubs and I got married. It was a beautifully sunny day but our Justice of the Peace officiant who was wildly eccentric who was wearing a Hawaiian Shirt because he was going to a Jimmy Buffet thing later, chose to marry us in a skyscraper downtown that overlooked the river, instead of a park somewhere like we had originally wanted. (More on him in a later post…) We didn’t have many people there, we didn’t have any money, but we had our love and our vows and the people who were most important to us (kind of).

Today’s song is a reflection of everything our marriage stands for. I heard it shortly after we got together and I knew right away that that was our song and that it would be played for our first dance. Which we haven’t yet had. That’s okay, though, because someday we’ll renew our vows and have the wedding we wanted. Anyways, on to the song… I’m sure you’re expecting the version by Kenny and Dolly, but this is brought to you by Constantines and Feist. Their low and slowly sung version is just everything I imagine a first dance to be swayed to. In any case, it’s our song and I love it just as much now as I did when I heard it in early 2008. Happy Anniversary, babe.

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Too deep in love and we got no way out.

Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb
I was soft inside, there was somethin’ going on
You do something to me that I can’t explain
Hold me closer and I feel no pain
Every beat of my heart
We got somethin’ goin’ on
Tender love is blind
It requires a dedication
All this love we feel
Needs no conversation
We ride it together, ah-ah
Makin’ love with each other, ah-ah

Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah

I can’t live without you if the love was gone
Everything is nothin’ if you got no one
And you did walk in tonight
Slowly losing sight of the real thing

But that won’t happen to us and we got no doubt
Too deep in love and we got no way out
And the message is clear
This could be the year for the real thing

No more will you cry
Baby, I will hurt you never
We start and end as one, in love forever
We can ride it together, ah-ah
Makin’ love with each other, ah-ah
Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah

Sail away
Oh, come sail away with me

Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah

Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah

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NOT TODAY, SATAN!

For those who haven’t picked up on it yet, I work at a hotel as a night auditor. By the time I get to work at 11pm, it’s usually a ghost town and I have the place to myself.

The last hotel I worked at was more of a resort, you may have even heard of it. I’m talking about the Great Wolf Lodge. I did two stints there. If you’re thinking me saying “stints” sounds like jail, then you would be correct and you get a brownie.

That place… It really was hell. I was there for about two years the first time and it was a real eye-opener and a shitty introduction to the hospitality industry. You would think a thousand+ screaming and laughing children would have been the downside but I honestly loved that. The kids were the absolute best part about working for that hellhole.

(Side note: I am SHOCKED that “hellhole” is an actual word in the dictionary, lol.)

My second stint there lasted almost five years until I was wrongfully fired on Thanksgiving of 2015. (More on that in another blog post.) Both times were hell because my coworkers and management, bar a very select few, were terrible individuals. Catty, petty, gossipy. I hated it there but I loved the money I was making and that I had achieved 7 almost solid years at a workplace.

It wasn’t until I started working for the hotel I’m at now that I truly understood that the only good thing to come of my 7 years at the GWL was that I cut my teeth on almost every possible terrible situation that could happen in a hotel.

It prepared me to be able to handle anything that crops up at the new hotel, which is still, frankly, a breath of fresh air to me. For the first couple of months at the new place I was a very tightly wound wire and my boss had to take me aside and explain that they weren’t going to bite my head off and that I could relax. That they understood how shitty the GWL is. I wanted to cry. Seriously…

Almost a year and a half later and I’m still so happy. I love everyone I work with, management has my back in every situation, the hotel is beautifully designed. I have zero complaints. Sort of.

My one complaint shouldn’t be a complaint, but it is. As a night auditor at the GWL, the work required spanned about 5 or so hours over the 8 hour shift. Not to mention it had to contend with the myriad of angry guests, hundreds of room requests, millions of phone calls and various other unpleasant shit that went on in any given night.

As a night auditor for the new hotel, my work is completed in an hour, guests are typically asleep before I come in at 11 and the phone rarely rings, and when it does, it’s usually a guest asking for a wake-up call.

The rest of my time is typically devoted to reading a book or scrolling tumblr or facebook on my phone until about 6 and then I hang out at the front desk to greet guests as they come down in the morning for breakfast or whatever they happen to need.

It gets boring af. And when I get bored, I get bitchy and antsy and anxious and all that downtime that my brain is not engaged in a book, it’s battling with memories from like fifteen years ago when I did something and now I wonder if that person from back then still thinks about what I did and are they still angry and omg, anxiety!!! Stupid brain.

The boredom is the only thing I have to complain about. Usually. Some nights, like last night, was hectic AF. Sold out, certain room types overbooked, had to change guests original booking to smaller rooms, unhappy guests, make them happy within reason.

We’re sold out again tonight and I’m not looking forward to the potential mess that I’ll be traipsing in to. Since I left work this morning I’ve been dreading going in tonight. As of right now it’s about 9:30 at night and I’ve been watching the clock since until I just slapped myself an hour or so ago when I reminded myself that this hotel isn’t the GWL and that I’m grateful AF for the lessons it taught me and that I can more than handle anything that crops up with a grace and dignity that I never had while working for the GWL.

I have it so good. I legit love my job. It literally takes one moment to remember how bad I had it at the last place to remember those two facts and then all is right in my little trashy world.

So… lemme pull on my big girl panties, put on some fucking makeup and give the GWL a middle finger. (Not gonna lie. If we ever have to drive by, I stick both middle fingers out of my window at them. Childish? You fucking bet!)

With all of that in mind, it’s easy to say, “Not today, Satan, not today.”

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Totes need this patch, btw.
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ALL THE SMALL THINGS!

Between a combination of writer’s block and a wonky internet connection, I’ve found it difficult to post on a near daily basis like I was. Also, if you think for one moment I’d take pen to paper and post it later, you’re crazy! Instead, I’ll leave you hanging for a few days because hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? I’ll just give you some highlights of the past week and whatnot… Don’t hurt me, please.

  1. Our router, which is still brand new, crapped out for some reason a few nights ago and we couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on. I finally discovered it was my laptop, which I had plugged directly into the router. Unplugged it and voila! It has been a-okay ever since.
  2. I’ve had some serious brain fog going on which has attributed to my writer’s block. All I’ve wanted to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. When I wasn’t sleeping, I could barely function or think rationally. I’ve worked third shift for many years now and never had any issues staying wide awake, but the last couple nights I’ve caught myself nodding off. Ugh… hope that passes soon.
  3. Money’s been a little tight and we’ve been dangerously close to not having any food in the house. Thankfully, family has seen us through in making sure we have enough to eat. We’re eternally grateful for their love and care. We also went to a non-profit called Valley Interfaith Community Resource Center and they’ve paid our gas and electric bill for the next month in addition to the groceries they sent us home with. Can’t express just how relieved we are with all of their help.
  4. The hubs and I are celebrating our 7 year wedding anniversary on May 1st. We had originally planned to get all dolled up and go out for a fancy dinner at Olive Garden* where we’d buy a whole bottle of wine and make a night of it. Scrapped that idea (see #3) and decided we’d go to the Cincinnati Zoo and see the new baby hippo Fiona. Scrapped that idea, too, because they’ve gotten so expensive. So now we’re going to see an early morning movie, get some lunch, drive around all day and then go home and get liquored up with some finger foods on the side. Honestly, that last idea suits us much better than the fancy dinner anyway.

    *Hey, Olive Garden is fancy for us. Shutchomouf.

    So, that’s been our week in this little nutshell. The moral of the story is to sleep when your body says it needs it.

    Don’t be proud… When you need help, utilize your available resources and accept the well-meaning help of your friends and family when they offer it. When you’re in a position to help others, it’s good being able to appreciate both ends of the spectrum.

    If your electronics are acting like an asshole, unplug it and plug it back in. That always seems to be the resolution, lol.

    Finally, learn to have just as good a time on a smaller budget as you would on a larger one. You’d be surprised with what you can come up with when you’re financially strapped. (But there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself, either.)

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    Thank you, Donna Meagle, we will.
Convos With the Hubs

ONE-LINER WEDNESDAY // SIT DOWN ON IT!

I’m a few minutes late posting this, but hubby said to post it anyway because it’s still Wednesday somewhere… So, here you go!

The owner of the hotel I work at loathes when we front desk people leave our office door open. We’ve flouted those rules for a very long time now, but apparently, no longer. We have a new regional director and she told me tonight that it can’t stay open anymore. Sucks for me because I like lurking in dark places and watching the cameras to see who approaches the desk before I make my attack. Naturally, I complained to the hubby and said…

Me: I’ll have to buy a cushion for the table I like to sit on while I’m at the desk.
Him: Yeah.
Me: It hurts my hoo-ha after sitting on it a while.

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One-Liner Wednesday was brought to you by Linda G Hill.

 

Convos With the Hubs

LOYALTY VS LOGIC!

Hey y’all… I’m just popping back in to let you know I wrote a funny little piece over on my hubby’s blog at Martians Attack on the merits of loyalty and logic in your conversations.

Relationships are not easy to maintain, but sometimes, for the sake of levity, you must run roughshod over your partner with logic.

So! Give it a read! Wth are you waiting for?!

Besides, he’s funny af and you should be following him regardless. Just sayin’. ♥