Prompts & Challenges

ONE-LINER WEDNESDAY // ARACH-NO-CLOTHES-IA!

A couple nights ago, I just happened to look up at the cameras while at work. I noticed a fat yellow orbweaver had built a web over one of the cameras outside and have been wanting to get a picture of it to show the hubs. Finally got the shot, but it was incredibly blurry as you see below.

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That yellow-ish blob? That’s her!

Me: *shows him the pic* It’s blurry but there she is!
Him: It’s blurry cause she’s nude.

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One-Liner Wednesday brought to you by Linda G Hill.

Tiny disclaimer about the 1LW pic I’m using: No offense to the winner is intended but I’d like to support my husband Martians Attack and use his picture. He worked so hard on it and I hated to see it go to the trash.

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Random Raves, Rants & Rambles

I TOLD YOU SO!

My attention is already waning.

I haven’t had squat to write about in the last couple days. So… instead, I’ll give you some small highlights to tide you tf over, lol.

~*~

~ Hubs bought me some grapes and proceeded to feed them to me like a Nymph would Bacchus. He didn’t really, I was just shoveling them into my face and then happened to notice a teeny, tiny wormy caterpillar in the bowl. I was promptly ill, began googling the shit out of said worm in grapes. Didn’t really find anything but haven’t noticed anything strange, like, caterpillars growing in my stomach. Hubs went back the next day and got a refund for those $6 grapes. Also, never buying grapes from Kroger again. They were the best looking bunch he found and they were fucking $6! But. They. Were. SOUR. AF.

~ I value my nights off of work like I value food and air. Matter of fact, it’s probably the most important thing to me aside from my husband, whom I fucking love and cherish. So after a terrible day of being sick while trying to sleep and getting up and down all day because of it, we finally sat down at like 1:30am to follow through on our plan to enjoy each other’s company and watch Star Trek Beyond. Welp, that idea was shot through because I had to hold the guy’s hand who covers my nights off, all. fucking. night. From 1:40AM to about 9AM, I was on the phone with him at various times and trying to reach our managers in between those calls. I was not happy. Not happy at all. Needless to say, I put my phone on silent tonight.

~ Linda G. Hill is hosting a contest for a new badge to represent her writing prompt, One-Liner Wednesday and hubs whipped one up. It’s pretty fancy. Please go vote for him! His is the “yellow badge” that you can see HERE and vote for HERE. This badge will be used for the rest of the year and will likely help draw traffic to his blog. Voting ends today at noon GMT. HALP HIM! 

Those are the only highlights that I can really think of for the moment. So… scram!

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Tombstone is literally one of the best movies in the entire world. I dare you to disagree. Srs.

♥♥♥

Prompts & Challenges

ONE-LINER WEDNESDAY // HOTEL CALIFORNIA!

“Relax,” said the night man,
“We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!

This is honestly one of my favorite songs. My momma used to listen to it when I was a kid, so naturally, I grew into her amazing taste in music for myself. I listen to it frequently. In fact, I’m listening to it right now as I type this.

On our road trip the other day, Hubs and I heard it on three separate occasions. Twice in the car on two different stations and once while we stopped in McDonald’s to use the restroom. Pretty sure he’s sick of hearing this song, which is why I’m playing it while he’s at his doctor’s appointment.

Furthermore, I work as a night auditor at a hotel and I never pass up the chance to show the older guests how cool their “night man” is by quoting the best Eagle’s song to date. They usually laugh and go on their merry way.

I need help, obvs.

Hotelcalifornia

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One-Liner Wednesday was brought to you by Linda G Hill.
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ONE-LINER WEDNESDAY // XLIII

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints–I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!–and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

I was first introduced to the writings of Elizabeth Barrett Browning when my mother handed me her copy of Sonnets from the Portuguese with an inscription inside that spoke of her undying love for me, her young daughter. These sonnets may be written for her (Elizabeth’s) lover, but I can only think of my mom every time I read it.

I must have read it from cover to cover a dozen or more times but it wasn’t until I grew in understanding that I came to appreciate the love and devotion found within its dog-eared pages. She and I have had so many ups and downs and misunderstandings and fallouts that to think upon it in any capacity hurts my heart and makes me feel like I’m a terrible daughter.

We’ve recently come to better understand one another and as the days go by, I no longer resent just how much like my mother I am. I’m coming to appreciate it very much, indeed. I’m so grateful I’m not too late to tell her how much I love her. So, momma…

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

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One-Liner Wednesday was brought to you by Linda G Hill.

Convos With the Hubs

ONE-LINER WEDNESDAY // SIT DOWN ON IT!

I’m a few minutes late posting this, but hubby said to post it anyway because it’s still Wednesday somewhere… So, here you go!

The owner of the hotel I work at loathes when we front desk people leave our office door open. We’ve flouted those rules for a very long time now, but apparently, no longer. We have a new regional director and she told me tonight that it can’t stay open anymore. Sucks for me because I like lurking in dark places and watching the cameras to see who approaches the desk before I make my attack. Naturally, I complained to the hubby and said…

Me: I’ll have to buy a cushion for the table I like to sit on while I’m at the desk.
Him: Yeah.
Me: It hurts my hoo-ha after sitting on it a while.

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1linerwedsbadgewes
One-Liner Wednesday was brought to you by Linda G Hill.