This started out as a reply to this blogger’s post about why you shouldn’t ask someone when they’re going to have children and I figured I’d take it and expand on it here for those that are curious about why Matt and I haven’t had babies of our own…
Matt and I tried for the first few years to get pregnant and didn’t have the money or insurance to see doctors to try and figure out why it just wasn’t happening for us. I cried, I prayed, I ranted and whenever I saw someone with a baby bump or someone else was telling me they had succeeded where we hadn’t… It was the hardest thing in the world to bear and when my estranged half sister told me over the phone that she was pregnant, it came at the worst time and I just couldn’t say anything to her and hung up, which, unfortunately, pushed us even further apart. I tried to explain and she’s said she’s fine, but the damage was done, I thought, but that’s a story for a different day.
That was almost six years ago now. I stopped questioning God and I finally started wishing expectant mother’s well. He and I had finally reached the ah-ha moment that we didn’t even WANT to have kids for several reasons. We’re happy that it’s just he and I and we selfishly enjoy the fact that it’ll just be us for the rest of our lives. We’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum now and I’m glad we did since it allows me to understand and be empathetic towards those who desperately want and do not want, to have children.
We still don’t know why it never happened for us, but again, that’s a kettle of fish that I’d rather tackle later in another post. Now, if anyone asks us about when we’ll have kids, we’ll just show them pictures of our furballs and kindly let the other person know that we’re happy with it just being us, because let’s face it… we can barely afford to take care of ourselves, lol!