Sweet Dreams are made of this!, There's a Moral to this Story!

ONCE UPON A DREAM!

I have always had some pretty crazy dreams. Very detailed, too. I usually remember everything about my dreams and the one I just woke up from is no different.

Our scene begins in a normal mall. Shops are open, people are everywhere and I’m walking along just browsing, kind of aimlessly walking with the crowd of shoppers and out of nowhere someone just about runs me over without apologizing.

Now, I don’t take that kind of abuse from anyone and this stranger is no different. I called out to them in an upset kind of tone. The gentleman turns around and…

It’s John fucking Cusack.

Normally, I’d be shitting my pants because, c’mon… It’s John Cusack! Who doesn’t love this man? I do! Or… I thought I did.

John turned around and whipped out a gun and opened fire on me! In a crowded mall!

john-cusack
Who knew?

I thought John was cool! I mean, I loved him very, very much in Hot Tub Time Machine. Hubby and I watch it often enough that we can quote the entire movie from beginning to end. But this time… Adam really does suck Cox n’ Dix.

So there I am, avoiding this lead hailfire, running bodies and splintering wood from the impact of said lead. I’m running my fat little ass off, which, in dreams, is always much easier than reality, lol.

I don’t know what crawled up John’s ass and died but fucking excuse me for not wanting to be run over like I’m the autobahn. Celebrity or no, you don’t get to do that John.

Except, apparently he does, because my confronting him about it has now turned into a deadly chase where he’s like the Terminator and I’m poor Sarah Connor, except… there’s no Kyle Reese to save my lily white behind. It’s up to me and I don’t feel like dying today!

So I haul ass to the underbelly of the mall where workers are trying to do their job and it looks like a scene from Titanic where Rose and Jack are running through the boiler room. I’m sure the workers didn’t think that shit was cute, either. GTFO!

Anyways, there I am, dodging and weaving around heavy machinery and the workers trying to do their jobs while John is steadily trying to kill my ass. Crazy, right?

Blood is being sprayed everywhere, people are screaming. It’s not pretty.

We finally work our way back up to the topside of the mall where I finally make it to the police station. (It’s a dream, shaddup.) The Chief of Police assures me that they’ll handle this and tell all of us scared civilians to keep down while they do their job in apprehending Undesirable #1.

It’s not to be. They haven’t given John Cusack enough credit. He’s fucking crafty. He knows exactly how all of this will end.

Over the loud speaker we all suddenly hear him saying to surrender the girl or everyone will die when he leaks this toxic nerve gas.

This shit is rapidly turning into a scene from Batman (1989) where Joker murders everyone in the art museum and rearranges their faces, well, artfully.

Everyone looks at me and starts putting on their gas masks. Lo and fucking behold, there’s no mask for me and some poor unfortunately souls whose eyes start bugging out of their heads like the scene from Total Recall where the window is blown out and the air from Mars causes a truly agonizing death.

RecallMelina
It’s exactly like that.

Of course, right before I actually kick the bucket, I wake up and all is well with the world except that the humidity from outside has permeated the coolness of our central air to make for a very balmy sleepy time and I really ought to not eat pizza before going to bed.

Also, there’s a moral you can learn from this!

Don’t confront someone over something small. It could be deadly! Learn from my example, folks.

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ALL THE SMALL THINGS!

Between a combination of writer’s block and a wonky internet connection, I’ve found it difficult to post on a near daily basis like I was. Also, if you think for one moment I’d take pen to paper and post it later, you’re crazy! Instead, I’ll leave you hanging for a few days because hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? I’ll just give you some highlights of the past week and whatnot… Don’t hurt me, please.

  1. Our router, which is still brand new, crapped out for some reason a few nights ago and we couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on. I finally discovered it was my laptop, which I had plugged directly into the router. Unplugged it and voila! It has been a-okay ever since.
  2. I’ve had some serious brain fog going on which has attributed to my writer’s block. All I’ve wanted to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. When I wasn’t sleeping, I could barely function or think rationally. I’ve worked third shift for many years now and never had any issues staying wide awake, but the last couple nights I’ve caught myself nodding off. Ugh… hope that passes soon.
  3. Money’s been a little tight and we’ve been dangerously close to not having any food in the house. Thankfully, family has seen us through in making sure we have enough to eat. We’re eternally grateful for their love and care. We also went to a non-profit called Valley Interfaith Community Resource Center and they’ve paid our gas and electric bill for the next month in addition to the groceries they sent us home with. Can’t express just how relieved we are with all of their help.
  4. The hubs and I are celebrating our 7 year wedding anniversary on May 1st. We had originally planned to get all dolled up and go out for a fancy dinner at Olive Garden* where we’d buy a whole bottle of wine and make a night of it. Scrapped that idea (see #3) and decided we’d go to the Cincinnati Zoo and see the new baby hippo Fiona. Scrapped that idea, too, because they’ve gotten so expensive. So now we’re going to see an early morning movie, get some lunch, drive around all day and then go home and get liquored up with some finger foods on the side. Honestly, that last idea suits us much better than the fancy dinner anyway.

    *Hey, Olive Garden is fancy for us. Shutchomouf.

    So, that’s been our week in this little nutshell. The moral of the story is to sleep when your body says it needs it.

    Don’t be proud… When you need help, utilize your available resources and accept the well-meaning help of your friends and family when they offer it. When you’re in a position to help others, it’s good being able to appreciate both ends of the spectrum.

    If your electronics are acting like an asshole, unplug it and plug it back in. That always seems to be the resolution, lol.

    Finally, learn to have just as good a time on a smaller budget as you would on a larger one. You’d be surprised with what you can come up with when you’re financially strapped. (But there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself, either.)

    anigif_enhanced-23522-1413260756-5
    Thank you, Donna Meagle, we will.
Manic Monday

MANIC MONDAY // DO YOU LOVE ME?

On my last attempt at blogging, I began doing a topic on music named Manic Monday. In it I would list my current song obsessions, but I think this time around, I’ll just talk about one song at a time.

Today’s song is by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and is titled Do You Love Me? It brings to mind the relationship between The Bride and Bill in Kill Bill.

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Your side always was a bit lonely.

Seriously, if you haven’t seen the movies… then what is wrong with you? Go watch, chop, chop! I’ll post the lyrics below the video if you care to give them a read.

I found her on a night of fire and noise
Wild bells rang in a wild sky
I knew from that moment on
I’d love her till the day that I died
And I kissed away a thousand tears
My lady of the Various Sorrows
Some begged, some borrowed, some stolen
Some kept safe for tomorrow
On an endless night, silver star spangled
The bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle

She was given to me to put things right
And I stacked all my accomplishments beside her
Still I seemed so obselete and small
I found God and all His devils inside her
In my bed she cast the blizzard out
A mock sun blazed upon her head
So completely filled with light she was
Her shadow fanged and hairy and mad
Our love-lines grew hopelessly tangled
And the bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle

She had a heartful of love and devotion
She had a mindful of tyranny and terror
Well, I try, I do, I really try
But I just err, baby, I do, I error
So come and find me, my darling one
I’m down to the grounds, the very dregs
Ah, here she comes, blocking the sun
Blood running down the inside of her legs
The moon in the sky is battered and mangled
And the bells from the chapel go jingle-jangle

All things move toward their end
I knew before I met her that I would lose her
I swear I made every effort to be good to her
I swear I made every effort not to abuse her
Crazy bracelets on her wrists and her ankles
And the bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle