Random Raves, Rants & Rambles

WE’RE MOVING?

I’m so sorry I haven’t posted anything since…

*goes back to see and cringes*

May 31st… Almost a whole month! Yikes…

Have I mentioned I’m flighty and neurotic? My attention span isn’t solely to blame, though. Depression, writer’s block, etc. I tried to think of shit to write about, I really did. But as the days turned into weeks, I’m pretty much yelling at myself, like… Bitch! 👏 Write! 👏 Something!

The anxiety to write up something, anything was getting stronger the longer I waited. It’s a terrible feeling…

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Twilight Sparkle gets it.

Well… nothing much has been going on to write about, except now… Hub’s dad isn’t doing too well healthwise and has practically begged us to move in with him.

For those who are unaware, Matt and I share a house with his mother and have been chomping at the bit to liberate ourselves and establish our freedom once more. It’s been financially impossible the last few years, though, so we’ve been miserable. Very little privacy. Her dog, while cute, barks incessantly. The neighbor is a jackass who doesn’t deserve the dog HE has and he’s annoying af. Just… numerous reasons for us to gtfo.

His dad had asked us before to move in with him but at the time, it just wasn’t feasible. Since I don’t drive, Matt takes me back and forth to work and while I’m at work, he drives for Uber for a few hours. The drive to my work and his dad’s place way out in the country, is an hour there and an hour back.

We’ll deal with the drive time, though, because we really want to take care of his dad. The biggest issue is the fact that because he’s way out in the country, there’s zero reception for our cell phones and the internet company we’re currently with, doesn’t service the area out there. So our options, while we have a few, are basically going to be satellite. Whatever, no big deal. The pros easily outweigh the cons. Besides, Matt can probably get paid through the VA to be his dad’s official caretaker, so there’s that.

It’s also way out in the country. The property sits way back off the road, is surrounded on all sides by the most beautiful trees and has two small lakes for fishing and just, you know, observing peacefully with a cup of coffee… or you know, booze. The pics below were taken earlier this year and the algae is nowhere to be seen now. We went out to visit him a few days ago, which is when he asked us to move in with him again.


We’ll see if it actually happens, though. The deciding factor is on whether or not the property owners will be okay with us moving in as well. If they say no, we’ll have to figure something out so that his dad can move in with us elsewhere. Either way, moving will be happening… it’s just a matter of when and where.

Anyway… Sorry again for taking so long to give y’all something to read. I promise to do better.

Random Raves, Rants & Rambles

I TOLD YOU SO!

My attention is already waning.

I haven’t had squat to write about in the last couple days. So… instead, I’ll give you some small highlights to tide you tf over, lol.

~*~

~ Hubs bought me some grapes and proceeded to feed them to me like a Nymph would Bacchus. He didn’t really, I was just shoveling them into my face and then happened to notice a teeny, tiny wormy caterpillar in the bowl. I was promptly ill, began googling the shit out of said worm in grapes. Didn’t really find anything but haven’t noticed anything strange, like, caterpillars growing in my stomach. Hubs went back the next day and got a refund for those $6 grapes. Also, never buying grapes from Kroger again. They were the best looking bunch he found and they were fucking $6! But. They. Were. SOUR. AF.

~ I value my nights off of work like I value food and air. Matter of fact, it’s probably the most important thing to me aside from my husband, whom I fucking love and cherish. So after a terrible day of being sick while trying to sleep and getting up and down all day because of it, we finally sat down at like 1:30am to follow through on our plan to enjoy each other’s company and watch Star Trek Beyond. Welp, that idea was shot through because I had to hold the guy’s hand who covers my nights off, all. fucking. night. From 1:40AM to about 9AM, I was on the phone with him at various times and trying to reach our managers in between those calls. I was not happy. Not happy at all. Needless to say, I put my phone on silent tonight.

~ Linda G. Hill is hosting a contest for a new badge to represent her writing prompt, One-Liner Wednesday and hubs whipped one up. It’s pretty fancy. Please go vote for him! His is the “yellow badge” that you can see HERE and vote for HERE. This badge will be used for the rest of the year and will likely help draw traffic to his blog. Voting ends today at noon GMT. HALP HIM! 

Those are the only highlights that I can really think of for the moment. So… scram!

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Tombstone is literally one of the best movies in the entire world. I dare you to disagree. Srs.

♥♥♥

Random Raves, Rants & Rambles

THROUGH THICKET AND THIN!

The last two days have not been good for me in a mental capacity. My thoughts, especially, have been like a thicket. I hate brain fog with a passion. There’s so much I want to write about (and it’s a good thing I have a list to put my post ideas on), but when I sit down to smash it out on the keyboard, nothing happens and my ADHD kicks in and all of a sudden I’ve been trawling youtube for 18 hours.

I think Sunday will be a random thoughts kinda day. For those little things that don’t really require a post of their own, ya know? So… I’ll just ramble here for today and get back next week with a spectacularly uninspiring blog post about something inconsequential to wow and amaze my friends. Have I mentioned that this blog is legit trash? Hey, you’re the one who decided I was worth following, so you get to deal with the fallout.

1. I realized I need a meat hammer. I could have cut down my cooking time on the giant chicken boobs from dinner a few nights ago if I had only had a meat hammer. But I’m strangely resistant to using things that normal adults would use. I distinctly remember the times my mom would use her meat hammer and it was loud af. Every time I think of it, I think about how she was such a better adult then than I am now. But mostly, I remember that it was loud.

For those of you who don’t know, hubs and I share a house with his mother and the sound carries very well. Also, we keep weird time since I work third shift. It would have woken her up for sure. If you’re curious about the house set up, the house itself is a cottage type and we live in the very back in an addition that was built on in the early 70s. We pretty much live in a small studio. Back to the meat hammer… guess I’ll pull up my big girl bloomers and put it on my list of shit I need to buy soon. *sigh*

2. Maintaining friendships on social media is tiring af. It’s also, apparently, a one way street. In August last year, I decided I needed to unfollow some people and limit my timeline to a very select few friends and family and videos of cute animals, crafts, recipes and shit. It was a desperate attempt to block out all the negativity I’d been seeing on Facebook for a long time. I even posted on there that I needed to take a break from Facebook but that I could always be contacted via Messenger.

A few weeks ago, I decided to go back through my friend list and re-follow everyone because I was in a good place where I felt I could handle all the talk of politics and every other Debbie Downer conversation that takes place on social media (but shouldn’t). So as I’m scrolling through my list of people, I notice that someone deleted me. And not just on Facebook, but on all of my other platforms as well.

This someone, I had thought, was good enough friends with me, that she’d at least message me to talk it, whatever IT was, out, before just haring off and deleting me. She’s a good online friend of the hubs, has been since before he and I met. He messaged her to find out what happened and she came back with some cockamamie excuse about we hadn’t spoken to each other in a while. *blink blink*

To be quite honest, it fucking hurt my feelings. Hubs told her so and she came back with the lame suggestion of, “Well, I could re-add her?” No. That ship sailed and you’re not allowed back on it. I didn’t realize a friendship of ten years had suddenly required talking to each other on a regular basis and that, my loves, is why maintaining friendships on social media is exhausting.

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JK… I’m too friendly. Disregard my personal space.

3. There is no number three that I can think of and I’m now realizing that number two really could have been a post of its own,  but… it’s here now and you’ll just have to deal with my longwindedness. Actually, there is a #3… Back to my mental capacity and perpetual brain fog… Poor hubby has had to explain super simple things to me the last couple of days. It bothers tf out of me because I’m usually a really sharp tack. Three separate times he’s tried to talk to me about something and I argued with him about how it didn’t make any sense to me. Wow. Really need this brain fog to gtfo.

So, those are a few of my rambles and rants for now. I know I’ll have a heap more by next Sunday. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend. Pray for me that I make it unscathed to next Sunday, lol.

xoxo

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NOT TODAY, SATAN!

For those who haven’t picked up on it yet, I work at a hotel as a night auditor. By the time I get to work at 11pm, it’s usually a ghost town and I have the place to myself.

The last hotel I worked at was more of a resort, you may have even heard of it. I’m talking about the Great Wolf Lodge. I did two stints there. If you’re thinking me saying “stints” sounds like jail, then you would be correct and you get a brownie.

That place… It really was hell. I was there for about two years the first time and it was a real eye-opener and a shitty introduction to the hospitality industry. You would think a thousand+ screaming and laughing children would have been the downside but I honestly loved that. The kids were the absolute best part about working for that hellhole.

(Side note: I am SHOCKED that “hellhole” is an actual word in the dictionary, lol.)

My second stint there lasted almost five years until I was wrongfully fired on Thanksgiving of 2015. (More on that in another blog post.) Both times were hell because my coworkers and management, bar a very select few, were terrible individuals. Catty, petty, gossipy. I hated it there but I loved the money I was making and that I had achieved 7 almost solid years at a workplace.

It wasn’t until I started working for the hotel I’m at now that I truly understood that the only good thing to come of my 7 years at the GWL was that I cut my teeth on almost every possible terrible situation that could happen in a hotel.

It prepared me to be able to handle anything that crops up at the new hotel, which is still, frankly, a breath of fresh air to me. For the first couple of months at the new place I was a very tightly wound wire and my boss had to take me aside and explain that they weren’t going to bite my head off and that I could relax. That they understood how shitty the GWL is. I wanted to cry. Seriously…

Almost a year and a half later and I’m still so happy. I love everyone I work with, management has my back in every situation, the hotel is beautifully designed. I have zero complaints. Sort of.

My one complaint shouldn’t be a complaint, but it is. As a night auditor at the GWL, the work required spanned about 5 or so hours over the 8 hour shift. Not to mention it had to contend with the myriad of angry guests, hundreds of room requests, millions of phone calls and various other unpleasant shit that went on in any given night.

As a night auditor for the new hotel, my work is completed in an hour, guests are typically asleep before I come in at 11 and the phone rarely rings, and when it does, it’s usually a guest asking for a wake-up call.

The rest of my time is typically devoted to reading a book or scrolling tumblr or facebook on my phone until about 6 and then I hang out at the front desk to greet guests as they come down in the morning for breakfast or whatever they happen to need.

It gets boring af. And when I get bored, I get bitchy and antsy and anxious and all that downtime that my brain is not engaged in a book, it’s battling with memories from like fifteen years ago when I did something and now I wonder if that person from back then still thinks about what I did and are they still angry and omg, anxiety!!! Stupid brain.

The boredom is the only thing I have to complain about. Usually. Some nights, like last night, was hectic AF. Sold out, certain room types overbooked, had to change guests original booking to smaller rooms, unhappy guests, make them happy within reason.

We’re sold out again tonight and I’m not looking forward to the potential mess that I’ll be traipsing in to. Since I left work this morning I’ve been dreading going in tonight. As of right now it’s about 9:30 at night and I’ve been watching the clock since until I just slapped myself an hour or so ago when I reminded myself that this hotel isn’t the GWL and that I’m grateful AF for the lessons it taught me and that I can more than handle anything that crops up with a grace and dignity that I never had while working for the GWL.

I have it so good. I legit love my job. It literally takes one moment to remember how bad I had it at the last place to remember those two facts and then all is right in my little trashy world.

So… lemme pull on my big girl panties, put on some fucking makeup and give the GWL a middle finger. (Not gonna lie. If we ever have to drive by, I stick both middle fingers out of my window at them. Childish? You fucking bet!)

With all of that in mind, it’s easy to say, “Not today, Satan, not today.”

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Totes need this patch, btw.
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ALL THE SMALL THINGS!

Between a combination of writer’s block and a wonky internet connection, I’ve found it difficult to post on a near daily basis like I was. Also, if you think for one moment I’d take pen to paper and post it later, you’re crazy! Instead, I’ll leave you hanging for a few days because hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? I’ll just give you some highlights of the past week and whatnot… Don’t hurt me, please.

  1. Our router, which is still brand new, crapped out for some reason a few nights ago and we couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on. I finally discovered it was my laptop, which I had plugged directly into the router. Unplugged it and voila! It has been a-okay ever since.
  2. I’ve had some serious brain fog going on which has attributed to my writer’s block. All I’ve wanted to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. When I wasn’t sleeping, I could barely function or think rationally. I’ve worked third shift for many years now and never had any issues staying wide awake, but the last couple nights I’ve caught myself nodding off. Ugh… hope that passes soon.
  3. Money’s been a little tight and we’ve been dangerously close to not having any food in the house. Thankfully, family has seen us through in making sure we have enough to eat. We’re eternally grateful for their love and care. We also went to a non-profit called Valley Interfaith Community Resource Center and they’ve paid our gas and electric bill for the next month in addition to the groceries they sent us home with. Can’t express just how relieved we are with all of their help.
  4. The hubs and I are celebrating our 7 year wedding anniversary on May 1st. We had originally planned to get all dolled up and go out for a fancy dinner at Olive Garden* where we’d buy a whole bottle of wine and make a night of it. Scrapped that idea (see #3) and decided we’d go to the Cincinnati Zoo and see the new baby hippo Fiona. Scrapped that idea, too, because they’ve gotten so expensive. So now we’re going to see an early morning movie, get some lunch, drive around all day and then go home and get liquored up with some finger foods on the side. Honestly, that last idea suits us much better than the fancy dinner anyway.

    *Hey, Olive Garden is fancy for us. Shutchomouf.

    So, that’s been our week in this little nutshell. The moral of the story is to sleep when your body says it needs it.

    Don’t be proud… When you need help, utilize your available resources and accept the well-meaning help of your friends and family when they offer it. When you’re in a position to help others, it’s good being able to appreciate both ends of the spectrum.

    If your electronics are acting like an asshole, unplug it and plug it back in. That always seems to be the resolution, lol.

    Finally, learn to have just as good a time on a smaller budget as you would on a larger one. You’d be surprised with what you can come up with when you’re financially strapped. (But there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself, either.)

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    Thank you, Donna Meagle, we will.
Convos With the Hubs

LOYALTY VS LOGIC!

Hey y’all… I’m just popping back in to let you know I wrote a funny little piece over on my hubby’s blog at Martians Attack on the merits of loyalty and logic in your conversations.

Relationships are not easy to maintain, but sometimes, for the sake of levity, you must run roughshod over your partner with logic.

So! Give it a read! Wth are you waiting for?!

Besides, he’s funny af and you should be following him regardless. Just sayin’. ♥

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LOVE POTION #9!

Love Potion #9 is a wonderful song, but the love potion I’m talking about doesn’t come from a gold-capped toothed woman named Madame Ruth on 34th and Vine and it certainly shouldn’t be brewed in the kitchen sink.

No… I’m talking about Amortentia. The most powerful love potion in the world according to the wizarding world of Harry Potter. You know the one, with its distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen and spiraling steam that rises gently from the top. Another telltale sign of Amortentia are the multifaceted scents it gives off depending on the person inhaling its fumes.

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Tut, tut, Hermione… You forgot Ron Weasley’s hair. 😉

What originally made me want to post about Amortentia (Harry Potter obsession aside, ahem…) was the overwhelming scent of honeysuckle that slapped me in the face just the other day.

Honeysuckle has long been a favorite scent of mine and is associated with so many happy memories that I cannot help but smile softly whenever I smell it. It’s such a favorite scent that I think if it were a wand wood choice for Ollivanders, my wand would definitely have been made of it instead of Ash.

Naturally, when I thought of honeysuckle being part of my Amortentia potion, I immediately thought of what the rest of it would smell like.

It would consist of honeysuckle, pool water and dragon’s blood incense. Pool water makes me think of my childhood when I would go with my mom to the public pool every day during the summer.

The Dragon’s Blood incense is purely brought to mind because of my husband, who is the one ultimately responsible for my happiness and contentment in life. It’s his favorite scent of incense and we burn it often.

Before he came into my life, I would say my third scent would have been freshly mown grass, just like Hermione. But like Nymphadora Tonks’ Patronus changing with her growing love for Remus, my Amortentia includes the one I  love most in this world.

So! With that being said, what would your potion smell like?

And for those who might be curious… I’m a Hufflepuff Alum, my Patronus is a Weasel and my wand is Ash, 11 3/4, Brittle and the core is a Dragon heartstring. I like to think the dragon who kindly supplied it would have been an Antipodean Opaleye.

 

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THE “C” WORD!

Prepares yourself, Reader, for something potentially unpleasant. 😉

My favorite word begins with a C and it’s not Crass. It’s Cunt!

Shit… it’s also Cat and Cocaine and Curio. I’m just a big, fat liar it seems.

If you’re shocked, then I’m ashamed of you! You of all people ought to know just how trashy I am and it should come as no surprise that I lack all class. However, Cunt may be one of my favorite words but I don’t go around saying it all willy-nilly. It’s reserved for special occasions where I’m either talking about my lady bits to the south or someone especially deserving of the word when they’re being rude af.

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Snow White keeping it classy.

So there you go. I’m a tacky bitch, lol. What are some of your favorite words? Go ahead, be as trashy as you can be, I won’t tell.

Convos With the Hubs

NOAH AND MOSES WALK INTO AN ARK…

It’s very, very rare that I get one over hubby. When it happens, I just want to shout it to the world that I was the clever one for one brief, shining moment. Please, enjoy said moment that we had yesterday at our expense.

Me: How many animals did Moses have on the Ark?
Matt: One of each kind, apparently.
Me: *grinning like an idiot*
Matt: *repeats the question and immediately realises his error* Oh, shit…
Me: *cackling with joy*

Ah, life is good.

 

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See what I did there? Do ya?!