Convos With the Hubs

CAN I GET A BUMP?!

Hubs and I should have our own show… Honestly.

Him: Ah, this turned out fucking great, if I do say so myself.
Him: Funny.
Him: Almost ready to post.
Me: Woo, woo! I’m trying to catch up on my reading list now. You’ll be number 2381290387.
Him: Can you bump me one up or so?
Me: Uh… *inserts gif*

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Him: ROFL
Me: Lol, of course I’ll bump you up.
Him: WOOHOO! *inserts pic*
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Sorry y’all, guess my duty as a wife trumps my duty to CDO in reading these posts in order, lol. If y’all are interested in what he posted, it IS fucking funny and you should totally read it. JUST DO IT!

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APRIL FOOLS! (IS THAT A GIVEAWAY???)

Of course it isn’t April 1st, you fool! I’m just saying that my blog is a month old. I started it on April 1st, last month and I can’t really believe that it’s going strong.

“So? It’s only a month!”

Scoff all you like but this is monumental for me.

I’ve started and deleted so many blogs that I’m sure hubby didn’t take me seriously when I started this one up last month. HA! He and I are both astounded by the rate in which I’m gaining followers and the rate in which I’m churning out posts.

Astounded, I tell you!

As of May 12th, 2017… I have 46 followers, 4 views away from 400 and this will be post number 30. I told hubby that I felt like this attempt could be taken seriously when I reached 50 posts and only then would I buy my domain name for it, so it’ll be 20 more posts before that happens.

My whole purpose in posting this was not only to celebrate this weird success, but I wanted to tell everyone that I’m hosting a small giveaway when I reach 100 followers! What better way to reward you and show my appreciation for reading my drivel than by extorting you luring you in with promises of a gift?!

To participate, all you have to do is click that follow button if you’re a WordPress user or follow via submitting your email.

Once I’ve gotten close to 100 followers, I’ll update with information on what the prize is going to be. Don’t worry, while not lavish or expensive, it’ll be something people will enjoy using.

Thanks so much to those who have followed already… hubby and I get so freaking excited when we see we’ve each gotten someone new to subscribe to our nonsense.

Speaking of hubs… I may have heard he might be doing a small giveaway, too, if he also reaches a certain number of followers. Go follow him here at Martians Attack to not only keep an eye on that rumored giveaway, but follow him anyway because he’s funny af.

So! Yay for me and yay for you! It’ll be a win/win. Let the wild rumpus begin!

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HOME IS WHEREVER I’M WITH YOU!

The hubs and I went on a little road trip for our anniversary last week, May 1st, and the day was just absolutely beautiful for it.

Since money was extra tight, we came up with a few places of interest to go see while we were out. It was so good to get out and enjoy the sunshine which is a novel experience for me since I’m such a night owl. I was sure that any exposure to the sun would instantly cause my skin to go up in flames, but alas, I was just fine.

For those that are curious, we live in Cincinnati, which is known as part of the Tri-State area of Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana.

First we decided to take the Anderson Ferry in Delhi over to Constance, Kentucky. It had been storming for weeks on end and we were sure the ride would be nausea-inducing because of the choppy water but we were pleasantly surprised at how smooth it was.

Hubby has a fear of deep, open water but had no issues with riding the ferry. I remember being a kid and going with my mom and a family friend and taking it while out hitting up the vegetable stands. In fact, I remember eating half of a raw tomato and throwing the rest of it overboard and watching it bob up and down on the waves from the ferry. Ah, good times.

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No tomatoes this time and no being a bad ass little fuck, either.

After we disembarked from USS Deborah A., we wound our way through Hebron and Burlington until we hit the road that runs right alongside the Ohio River to Rabbit Hash. We just couldn’t stop exclaiming about how beautiful and lush everything was and that the people who lived in the area were supremely lucky to do so. Of course, we also said that when we hit the lotto, that’s where we’ll migrate to. Some day…

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See? Lucky bastards live here.

What should have been a half hour drive turned into about 45 minutes because Matt sneezed and missed the sign that said to turn and enter Rabbit Hash proper. I told him to just keep going and we could circle back and come from the opposite side.

I’m glad I did because otherwise, we wouldn’t have seen this creepy old Southern Baptist church sitting high on its creepy little hill. Seriously… why do Baptist churches always have to look so, well, creepy? I love it, but still.

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This was my favorite find/shot of the day, btw.

So after another fifteen minutes of driving, we finally reached Rabbit Hash, a rustic hamlet known for its almost 200 year old General Store and doggy mayors. I knew Matt would fall in love with the place just as I did when I’d gone through it many  years before. The original Rabbit Hash General Store had been built in 1831 and had survived a great many floods between then and February 2016 until an unfortunate electrical fire burned it down.

Thanks to the tender love and dedication of the community, though, it was rebuilt to the exact same style it had originally been in only a short year later. You can read more about it all, here. I was right though, he completely fell in love and we both had a hard time leaving it.

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We especially loved the potions and notions they had to offer. 

 

 

The store is an eclectic mix of country and new age items for sale. It seriously felt like home to us. It smelled so good, too. Like old wood and nag champa incense. The building also has the most amazing creek running beneath it in the back. If we could have made our home there, we would have.

 


After the owners used a crow bar to pry us out of their store, we hit the road again and talked about whether it was fate that brought us together or luck. It was sappy af, I’m telling you… Our hands were clasped over the console, our fingers were tightly entwined and we would occasionally exchange such love-filled glances with each other. Totally sickening, folks. ♥♥♥

Traveling up through Indiana and finally back over to Ohio, we met up with his dad at Reily’s Pizza where dad treated us to dinner for our anniversary.

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Going to places next to rushing water must have been the theme of the day for us. (Behind Reily’s Pizza)

 

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See? Cute af. Smh…

We got stuffed on their amazing pizza, cheese fries, cheesy pretzel and $1 cans of Coors Light while the rain made itself known again throughout our meal. My eyes got so heavy towards the end of our meal and I pretty much just sat there quietly and listened to hubs and his dad talk about this, that and the other thing. We went straight home and slept the rest of the day away. It was the best day. Only spent a whopping $20.

So that was last Monday, the 1st. Yesterday we took advantage of the break in rain and spent the sunny day driving around again, only this time we went out for french fries and hot fudge sundaes. Afterwards, we went driving around looking at various mobile home parks that we could eventually call home.

On the way home, we stopped by the old home of Americana Amusement Park; another place we used to haunt when we were kids. It too was destroyed by an electrical fire and sadly closed down for good in ’99. Even worse is that it’ll all be torn down this year and rebuilt into a new campus for a local college and city park space. You can read about their history here.

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When we got home, I took a muscle relaxer for my lower back that felt like it was about to detach from the rest of my body while he took a Xanax for his anxiety. Needless to say, we were out like a light very shortly after and didn’t wake up until around Midnight.

We made some frozen pizza, watched Sausage Party and then played some Left 4 Dead 2 while cuddling our doggo, Redd.

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He’s such a charming pupper, ain’t he?

 

It’s been so nice to get out of the house and not interact with humans. So nice that we might make this a regular thing by exploring areas around our home.

Before I forget… Did you know that Elvis and Priscilla also got married on May 1st? I love that! Thankfully, our marriage has lasted longer than their 6 years and some odd months.

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Random Raves, Rants & Rambles

THROUGH THICKET AND THIN!

The last two days have not been good for me in a mental capacity. My thoughts, especially, have been like a thicket. I hate brain fog with a passion. There’s so much I want to write about (and it’s a good thing I have a list to put my post ideas on), but when I sit down to smash it out on the keyboard, nothing happens and my ADHD kicks in and all of a sudden I’ve been trawling youtube for 18 hours.

I think Sunday will be a random thoughts kinda day. For those little things that don’t really require a post of their own, ya know? So… I’ll just ramble here for today and get back next week with a spectacularly uninspiring blog post about something inconsequential to wow and amaze my friends. Have I mentioned that this blog is legit trash? Hey, you’re the one who decided I was worth following, so you get to deal with the fallout.

1. I realized I need a meat hammer. I could have cut down my cooking time on the giant chicken boobs from dinner a few nights ago if I had only had a meat hammer. But I’m strangely resistant to using things that normal adults would use. I distinctly remember the times my mom would use her meat hammer and it was loud af. Every time I think of it, I think about how she was such a better adult then than I am now. But mostly, I remember that it was loud.

For those of you who don’t know, hubs and I share a house with his mother and the sound carries very well. Also, we keep weird time since I work third shift. It would have woken her up for sure. If you’re curious about the house set up, the house itself is a cottage type and we live in the very back in an addition that was built on in the early 70s. We pretty much live in a small studio. Back to the meat hammer… guess I’ll pull up my big girl bloomers and put it on my list of shit I need to buy soon. *sigh*

2. Maintaining friendships on social media is tiring af. It’s also, apparently, a one way street. In August last year, I decided I needed to unfollow some people and limit my timeline to a very select few friends and family and videos of cute animals, crafts, recipes and shit. It was a desperate attempt to block out all the negativity I’d been seeing on Facebook for a long time. I even posted on there that I needed to take a break from Facebook but that I could always be contacted via Messenger.

A few weeks ago, I decided to go back through my friend list and re-follow everyone because I was in a good place where I felt I could handle all the talk of politics and every other Debbie Downer conversation that takes place on social media (but shouldn’t). So as I’m scrolling through my list of people, I notice that someone deleted me. And not just on Facebook, but on all of my other platforms as well.

This someone, I had thought, was good enough friends with me, that she’d at least message me to talk it, whatever IT was, out, before just haring off and deleting me. She’s a good online friend of the hubs, has been since before he and I met. He messaged her to find out what happened and she came back with some cockamamie excuse about we hadn’t spoken to each other in a while. *blink blink*

To be quite honest, it fucking hurt my feelings. Hubs told her so and she came back with the lame suggestion of, “Well, I could re-add her?” No. That ship sailed and you’re not allowed back on it. I didn’t realize a friendship of ten years had suddenly required talking to each other on a regular basis and that, my loves, is why maintaining friendships on social media is exhausting.

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JK… I’m too friendly. Disregard my personal space.

3. There is no number three that I can think of and I’m now realizing that number two really could have been a post of its own,  but… it’s here now and you’ll just have to deal with my longwindedness. Actually, there is a #3… Back to my mental capacity and perpetual brain fog… Poor hubby has had to explain super simple things to me the last couple of days. It bothers tf out of me because I’m usually a really sharp tack. Three separate times he’s tried to talk to me about something and I argued with him about how it didn’t make any sense to me. Wow. Really need this brain fog to gtfo.

So, those are a few of my rambles and rants for now. I know I’ll have a heap more by next Sunday. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend. Pray for me that I make it unscathed to next Sunday, lol.

xoxo

Manic Monday

MANIC MONDAY VOL 2 // ISLANDS IN THE STREAM

Today, May 1st, 2017, marks seven years since the hubs and I got married. It was a beautifully sunny day but our Justice of the Peace officiant who was wildly eccentric who was wearing a Hawaiian Shirt because he was going to a Jimmy Buffet thing later, chose to marry us in a skyscraper downtown that overlooked the river, instead of a park somewhere like we had originally wanted. (More on him in a later post…) We didn’t have many people there, we didn’t have any money, but we had our love and our vows and the people who were most important to us (kind of).

Today’s song is a reflection of everything our marriage stands for. I heard it shortly after we got together and I knew right away that that was our song and that it would be played for our first dance. Which we haven’t yet had. That’s okay, though, because someday we’ll renew our vows and have the wedding we wanted. Anyways, on to the song… I’m sure you’re expecting the version by Kenny and Dolly, but this is brought to you by Constantines and Feist. Their low and slowly sung version is just everything I imagine a first dance to be swayed to. In any case, it’s our song and I love it just as much now as I did when I heard it in early 2008. Happy Anniversary, babe.

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Too deep in love and we got no way out.

Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb
I was soft inside, there was somethin’ going on
You do something to me that I can’t explain
Hold me closer and I feel no pain
Every beat of my heart
We got somethin’ goin’ on
Tender love is blind
It requires a dedication
All this love we feel
Needs no conversation
We ride it together, ah-ah
Makin’ love with each other, ah-ah

Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah

I can’t live without you if the love was gone
Everything is nothin’ if you got no one
And you did walk in tonight
Slowly losing sight of the real thing

But that won’t happen to us and we got no doubt
Too deep in love and we got no way out
And the message is clear
This could be the year for the real thing

No more will you cry
Baby, I will hurt you never
We start and end as one, in love forever
We can ride it together, ah-ah
Makin’ love with each other, ah-ah
Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah

Sail away
Oh, come sail away with me

Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah

Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in-between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me to another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ah
From one lover to another, ah-ah

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ALL THE SMALL THINGS!

Between a combination of writer’s block and a wonky internet connection, I’ve found it difficult to post on a near daily basis like I was. Also, if you think for one moment I’d take pen to paper and post it later, you’re crazy! Instead, I’ll leave you hanging for a few days because hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? I’ll just give you some highlights of the past week and whatnot… Don’t hurt me, please.

  1. Our router, which is still brand new, crapped out for some reason a few nights ago and we couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on. I finally discovered it was my laptop, which I had plugged directly into the router. Unplugged it and voila! It has been a-okay ever since.
  2. I’ve had some serious brain fog going on which has attributed to my writer’s block. All I’ve wanted to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. When I wasn’t sleeping, I could barely function or think rationally. I’ve worked third shift for many years now and never had any issues staying wide awake, but the last couple nights I’ve caught myself nodding off. Ugh… hope that passes soon.
  3. Money’s been a little tight and we’ve been dangerously close to not having any food in the house. Thankfully, family has seen us through in making sure we have enough to eat. We’re eternally grateful for their love and care. We also went to a non-profit called Valley Interfaith Community Resource Center and they’ve paid our gas and electric bill for the next month in addition to the groceries they sent us home with. Can’t express just how relieved we are with all of their help.
  4. The hubs and I are celebrating our 7 year wedding anniversary on May 1st. We had originally planned to get all dolled up and go out for a fancy dinner at Olive Garden* where we’d buy a whole bottle of wine and make a night of it. Scrapped that idea (see #3) and decided we’d go to the Cincinnati Zoo and see the new baby hippo Fiona. Scrapped that idea, too, because they’ve gotten so expensive. So now we’re going to see an early morning movie, get some lunch, drive around all day and then go home and get liquored up with some finger foods on the side. Honestly, that last idea suits us much better than the fancy dinner anyway.

    *Hey, Olive Garden is fancy for us. Shutchomouf.

    So, that’s been our week in this little nutshell. The moral of the story is to sleep when your body says it needs it.

    Don’t be proud… When you need help, utilize your available resources and accept the well-meaning help of your friends and family when they offer it. When you’re in a position to help others, it’s good being able to appreciate both ends of the spectrum.

    If your electronics are acting like an asshole, unplug it and plug it back in. That always seems to be the resolution, lol.

    Finally, learn to have just as good a time on a smaller budget as you would on a larger one. You’d be surprised with what you can come up with when you’re financially strapped. (But there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself, either.)

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    Thank you, Donna Meagle, we will.
Convos With the Hubs

ONE-LINER WEDNESDAY // SIT DOWN ON IT!

I’m a few minutes late posting this, but hubby said to post it anyway because it’s still Wednesday somewhere… So, here you go!

The owner of the hotel I work at loathes when we front desk people leave our office door open. We’ve flouted those rules for a very long time now, but apparently, no longer. We have a new regional director and she told me tonight that it can’t stay open anymore. Sucks for me because I like lurking in dark places and watching the cameras to see who approaches the desk before I make my attack. Naturally, I complained to the hubby and said…

Me: I’ll have to buy a cushion for the table I like to sit on while I’m at the desk.
Him: Yeah.
Me: It hurts my hoo-ha after sitting on it a while.

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One-Liner Wednesday was brought to you by Linda G Hill.

 

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LOVE POTION #9!

Love Potion #9 is a wonderful song, but the love potion I’m talking about doesn’t come from a gold-capped toothed woman named Madame Ruth on 34th and Vine and it certainly shouldn’t be brewed in the kitchen sink.

No… I’m talking about Amortentia. The most powerful love potion in the world according to the wizarding world of Harry Potter. You know the one, with its distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen and spiraling steam that rises gently from the top. Another telltale sign of Amortentia are the multifaceted scents it gives off depending on the person inhaling its fumes.

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Tut, tut, Hermione… You forgot Ron Weasley’s hair. 😉

What originally made me want to post about Amortentia (Harry Potter obsession aside, ahem…) was the overwhelming scent of honeysuckle that slapped me in the face just the other day.

Honeysuckle has long been a favorite scent of mine and is associated with so many happy memories that I cannot help but smile softly whenever I smell it. It’s such a favorite scent that I think if it were a wand wood choice for Ollivanders, my wand would definitely have been made of it instead of Ash.

Naturally, when I thought of honeysuckle being part of my Amortentia potion, I immediately thought of what the rest of it would smell like.

It would consist of honeysuckle, pool water and dragon’s blood incense. Pool water makes me think of my childhood when I would go with my mom to the public pool every day during the summer.

The Dragon’s Blood incense is purely brought to mind because of my husband, who is the one ultimately responsible for my happiness and contentment in life. It’s his favorite scent of incense and we burn it often.

Before he came into my life, I would say my third scent would have been freshly mown grass, just like Hermione. But like Nymphadora Tonks’ Patronus changing with her growing love for Remus, my Amortentia includes the one I  love most in this world.

So! With that being said, what would your potion smell like?

And for those who might be curious… I’m a Hufflepuff Alum, my Patronus is a Weasel and my wand is Ash, 11 3/4, Brittle and the core is a Dragon heartstring. I like to think the dragon who kindly supplied it would have been an Antipodean Opaleye.

 

Convos With the Hubs

NOAH AND MOSES WALK INTO AN ARK…

It’s very, very rare that I get one over hubby. When it happens, I just want to shout it to the world that I was the clever one for one brief, shining moment. Please, enjoy said moment that we had yesterday at our expense.

Me: How many animals did Moses have on the Ark?
Matt: One of each kind, apparently.
Me: *grinning like an idiot*
Matt: *repeats the question and immediately realises his error* Oh, shit…
Me: *cackling with joy*

Ah, life is good.

 

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See what I did there? Do ya?!

 

 

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APRIL THE GIRAFFE!

For those that don’t really haunt YouTube, there was a live cam set up for the much anticipated birth of April the Giraffe’s baby over the last couple months at the Animal Adventure Park in New York. April gave birth today and the cam is still live so y’all can see just how freaking adorable the baby is. Click HERE to go get your fill of cuteness.

Hubby beat me to posting about the event, which you can read about HERE. I posted about watching baby being born on Facebook and then I too hit the hay. Because I sleep during the day and hubby is usually up before I am, he got to see the negativity on FB regarding April’s baby. It’s sad af.

People are so mired in the terrible shit going on that they can’t appreciate the beauty and wonder of a precious baby entering the world. Not only that but they’re bitching about people participating in something positive while countless other negatives are occurring around the world.

Welp, sorry not sorry, but I’m not going to wallow in negativity just to please your shitty sensibilities. The hubs said it best, I think, when he said Hopefully something similar to these two events will come along to replace them when they’re done and out of the spotlight. This is what the world needs more of more than ever. It lifted our spirits for a moment, and for that, I’m very grateful.

On a side note, I’ve been watching TinyKittensHQ for the last few weeks. TinyKittensHQ is a feral cat rescue that aims to save as many feral cats as they can, rehabilitating and finding them homes whenever possible and when they can’t, they spay/neuter and return them to the wild.

Their latest rescued pregnant momma’s are Evolene, a ginger tabby who has suffered seriously from malnutrition among many other very serious health problems. The other momma is Corsica, a tortoiseshell tabby who seems to be in better health and is a couple years younger. Sadly, all five of Evolene’s kittens passed away and Evolene herself is struggling to thrive. TK’s are doing everything possible to facilitate her speedy recovery, jsyk…

Corsica, on the other hand, had five kittens as well and all are doing so very well. They’re just about seven days old and haven’t opened their eyes yet, but if you’d like to join in another spot of brightness, then click HERE.

What I’ve been trying to say all along here, is… Don’t let anyone drag you down when you’re enjoying something that brings you a bit of happiness in this otherwise crazy world. The negativity in the world is going nowhere and will continue spreading like a terrible plague, but the rare moments of goodness? Take advantage when you can and be grateful it happened and that you were able to witness it.

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