Random Raves, Rants & Rambles

THROUGH THICKET AND THIN!

The last two days have not been good for me in a mental capacity. My thoughts, especially, have been like a thicket. I hate brain fog with a passion. There’s so much I want to write about (and it’s a good thing I have a list to put my post ideas on), but when I sit down to smash it out on the keyboard, nothing happens and my ADHD kicks in and all of a sudden I’ve been trawling youtube for 18 hours.

I think Sunday will be a random thoughts kinda day. For those little things that don’t really require a post of their own, ya know? So… I’ll just ramble here for today and get back next week with a spectacularly uninspiring blog post about something inconsequential to wow and amaze my friends. Have I mentioned that this blog is legit trash? Hey, you’re the one who decided I was worth following, so you get to deal with the fallout.

1. I realized I need a meat hammer. I could have cut down my cooking time on the giant chicken boobs from dinner a few nights ago if I had only had a meat hammer. But I’m strangely resistant to using things that normal adults would use. I distinctly remember the times my mom would use her meat hammer and it was loud af. Every time I think of it, I think about how she was such a better adult then than I am now. But mostly, I remember that it was loud.

For those of you who don’t know, hubs and I share a house with his mother and the sound carries very well. Also, we keep weird time since I work third shift. It would have woken her up for sure. If you’re curious about the house set up, the house itself is a cottage type and we live in the very back in an addition that was built on in the early 70s. We pretty much live in a small studio. Back to the meat hammer… guess I’ll pull up my big girl bloomers and put it on my list of shit I need to buy soon. *sigh*

2. Maintaining friendships on social media is tiring af. It’s also, apparently, a one way street. In August last year, I decided I needed to unfollow some people and limit my timeline to a very select few friends and family and videos of cute animals, crafts, recipes and shit. It was a desperate attempt to block out all the negativity I’d been seeing on Facebook for a long time. I even posted on there that I needed to take a break from Facebook but that I could always be contacted via Messenger.

A few weeks ago, I decided to go back through my friend list and re-follow everyone because I was in a good place where I felt I could handle all the talk of politics and every other Debbie Downer conversation that takes place on social media (but shouldn’t). So as I’m scrolling through my list of people, I notice that someone deleted me. And not just on Facebook, but on all of my other platforms as well.

This someone, I had thought, was good enough friends with me, that she’d at least message me to talk it, whatever IT was, out, before just haring off and deleting me. She’s a good online friend of the hubs, has been since before he and I met. He messaged her to find out what happened and she came back with some cockamamie excuse about we hadn’t spoken to each other in a while. *blink blink*

To be quite honest, it fucking hurt my feelings. Hubs told her so and she came back with the lame suggestion of, “Well, I could re-add her?” No. That ship sailed and you’re not allowed back on it. I didn’t realize a friendship of ten years had suddenly required talking to each other on a regular basis and that, my loves, is why maintaining friendships on social media is exhausting.

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JK… I’m too friendly. Disregard my personal space.

3. There is no number three that I can think of and I’m now realizing that number two really could have been a post of its own,  but… it’s here now and you’ll just have to deal with my longwindedness. Actually, there is a #3… Back to my mental capacity and perpetual brain fog… Poor hubby has had to explain super simple things to me the last couple of days. It bothers tf out of me because I’m usually a really sharp tack. Three separate times he’s tried to talk to me about something and I argued with him about how it didn’t make any sense to me. Wow. Really need this brain fog to gtfo.

So, those are a few of my rambles and rants for now. I know I’ll have a heap more by next Sunday. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend. Pray for me that I make it unscathed to next Sunday, lol.

xoxo

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ALL THE SMALL THINGS!

Between a combination of writer’s block and a wonky internet connection, I’ve found it difficult to post on a near daily basis like I was. Also, if you think for one moment I’d take pen to paper and post it later, you’re crazy! Instead, I’ll leave you hanging for a few days because hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? I’ll just give you some highlights of the past week and whatnot… Don’t hurt me, please.

  1. Our router, which is still brand new, crapped out for some reason a few nights ago and we couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on. I finally discovered it was my laptop, which I had plugged directly into the router. Unplugged it and voila! It has been a-okay ever since.
  2. I’ve had some serious brain fog going on which has attributed to my writer’s block. All I’ve wanted to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. When I wasn’t sleeping, I could barely function or think rationally. I’ve worked third shift for many years now and never had any issues staying wide awake, but the last couple nights I’ve caught myself nodding off. Ugh… hope that passes soon.
  3. Money’s been a little tight and we’ve been dangerously close to not having any food in the house. Thankfully, family has seen us through in making sure we have enough to eat. We’re eternally grateful for their love and care. We also went to a non-profit called Valley Interfaith Community Resource Center and they’ve paid our gas and electric bill for the next month in addition to the groceries they sent us home with. Can’t express just how relieved we are with all of their help.
  4. The hubs and I are celebrating our 7 year wedding anniversary on May 1st. We had originally planned to get all dolled up and go out for a fancy dinner at Olive Garden* where we’d buy a whole bottle of wine and make a night of it. Scrapped that idea (see #3) and decided we’d go to the Cincinnati Zoo and see the new baby hippo Fiona. Scrapped that idea, too, because they’ve gotten so expensive. So now we’re going to see an early morning movie, get some lunch, drive around all day and then go home and get liquored up with some finger foods on the side. Honestly, that last idea suits us much better than the fancy dinner anyway.

    *Hey, Olive Garden is fancy for us. Shutchomouf.

    So, that’s been our week in this little nutshell. The moral of the story is to sleep when your body says it needs it.

    Don’t be proud… When you need help, utilize your available resources and accept the well-meaning help of your friends and family when they offer it. When you’re in a position to help others, it’s good being able to appreciate both ends of the spectrum.

    If your electronics are acting like an asshole, unplug it and plug it back in. That always seems to be the resolution, lol.

    Finally, learn to have just as good a time on a smaller budget as you would on a larger one. You’d be surprised with what you can come up with when you’re financially strapped. (But there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself, either.)

    anigif_enhanced-23522-1413260756-5
    Thank you, Donna Meagle, we will.
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THE “C” WORD!

Prepares yourself, Reader, for something potentially unpleasant. 😉

My favorite word begins with a C and it’s not Crass. It’s Cunt!

Shit… it’s also Cat and Cocaine and Curio. I’m just a big, fat liar it seems.

If you’re shocked, then I’m ashamed of you! You of all people ought to know just how trashy I am and it should come as no surprise that I lack all class. However, Cunt may be one of my favorite words but I don’t go around saying it all willy-nilly. It’s reserved for special occasions where I’m either talking about my lady bits to the south or someone especially deserving of the word when they’re being rude af.

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Snow White keeping it classy.

So there you go. I’m a tacky bitch, lol. What are some of your favorite words? Go ahead, be as trashy as you can be, I won’t tell.

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COCAINE’S A HELLUVA DRUG!

I was half asleep when I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday and saw the hubs had posted #RIPCharlieMurphy and didn’t really pay it any attention until I rolled around some more and finally got up to get ready for work last night. That’s when I finally figured out that it was true… The great Charlie Murphy had died at the young age of 57 from his long battle with leukemia.

I legit cried. (Which is no surprise since my every emotion is tied to my tear ducts.) I watched his skits on the Chappelle Show often because it’s seriously the funniest shit, ever. His True Hollywood Stories were the best. My favorite, however, was the one about his frequent run-ins with Rick James.

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Rick wasn’t wrong.

I originally wasn’t going to make this a post. I was just going to put up the above gif on my About page and leave it at that, but… I thought about poor Charlie and here we go. But while I’m on the subject of cocaine… *sighs wistfully*

Haven’t done it in years, but, man, it was lovely when I did. Don’t judge me.

Alien Cocaine
A legit reenactment.

 

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BATTLE OF THE FLAMINGOS, PT 2!

So Matt and I have been in an epic battle over my love for plastic flamingos that go in your yard. Feel free to read up on it, here. 

Basically, I love ’em and he thinks they’re a level of trash that we haven’t quite reached yet. I disagree, but hey, that’s just my opinion, lmao.

So, this past Sunday morning we were driving through a swanky neighborhood on our way home and all of a sudden I saw this…

Flamingos

I made hubs turn around and pull in to their driveway so I could get this picture and of course, I was all up in arms about how even the well-to-do put flamingos in their yard. And so I took it to Facebook and this happened…

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I don’t feel attacked or anything. Not at all!

Hubs has already agreed that I can have two flamingos for when we move, so I’m not all that upset by his telling me to move in with some over-the-hill strangers.

Matt then proceeds to tagging me in this just a couple hours ago…

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*face meets palm pretty hard*

If I haven’t mentioned it yet, we’ll be moving into a rinky-dink trailer park maybe by the end of the year. If we haven’t reached White Trash level yet, we sure will with that fence and a couple of plastic flamingos. I can’t wait.

 

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KITSCH, PLEASE!

The hubs and I have been together for almost ten years and in that time, we’ve had to compromise on a great many things. On things such as… toilet paper brand, morals and personal taste. Juuust to name a few.

I’ve heard before that compromise in marriage is 99% of just giving in to your wife so you no longer have to listen to her whine and bitch and while that seems great to us ladies, it’s not fair at all to the hubs. Most of the time, though, mine doesn’t truly give a shit about getting his way because in things that truly matter, we really do see eye to eye. Still, doesn’t make it fair. But! What if it’s about something that truly matters to you?

Like I said, sometimes we’ve had to compromise on personal taste and my issue is this… I fracking love pink flamingos. Seriously. They’re my fave and I’ve always, aaaaallllwaaays… wanted to put those tacky, plastic pink flamingos in my front yard whenever I was finally able to buy a house. Some people enjoy garden gnomes,  but me? Hell no. Give me those plastic beauties any day.

Hubs has very rarely disagreed with how I decorate our home, but when it comes to the delightfully tacky birds, well, he’s pretty vocal in his displeasure with the idea. And it’s not as if I’d be putting out a whole flock!

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This isn’t overkill at all.

99.9% of the time, he lets me have my way. But I fear this time, when we’re finally able to move out of our one room shanty and into our long-time coveted mobile home… I may not be able to take the trashiness to the next level by including my beloved rosy artificial avians friends.

So, in the event where neither can compromise, where do we go? Who will get their way in the battle of the tacky pink flamingos in front of the trailer? Should I just ditch the idea and go for a concrete goose that I can decorate for the seasons? Should this is the .1% where I give hubby his way?

I don’t know. I’m still clinging pretty tightly to my wishes. What would you do?